Sweet Surrender

Self-love focuses on gathering the positive energy and incorporating in into your life. But it's also about getting rid of negative energy. "To get what you want, you have to let go of what you don't want" (Kaiser 242).  This principle encompasses the idea of needing to drop the negative things that surround and replace them with things that make you happy. People find ease at letting positive things in, but tend to struggle in the process of letting go. We always are trying to find constant control in our lives, and ironically it's the things we never can control. Letting go is the only way to expel the things in your life that drag you down.

Destination disaster. Best described as feeling as if your life isn't on track with what you originally planned. When the expectations that you make aren't met and you feel like a failure. You need to let of go of who you think you should be, and embrace who you are meant to be (Kaiser 244). Personally throughout my life I have always had high expectations for myself. Don't get me wrong maintaining high expectations is good, they help in achieving your overall goals. But there's a point where that bar becomes harmful not helpful. I needed to learn to let go of the negative energy I was feeding myself.  Inside of my source there was a mantra that I found helpful to repeat to myself. (See picture). Not only do you have to let go of the internal negative energy, but also external negative energy. Things like people or activities that make you unhappy need to go. Especially because the New Year is coming up many people see it as a fresh start. Letting go of people is especially hard, I have had to do it multiple times. But if someone that surrounds you brings only negative energy to the table, maybe it's time for you to walk away. Letting go and allowing the universe to steer is something I  have to continue to work on. But I know eventually it will make me a more accepting and open person. 

Question: What helps you generate more positive energy in your life? 

KAISER, SHANNON. SELF-LOVE EXPERIMENT: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and... Accepting of Yourself. PENGUIN BOOKS, 2017.

Not functioning, but flourishing.

The process of self-love and acceptance is not something one can achieve in mere days or even months. Learning to become more compassionate, kind and accepting towards yourself is a life-long journey. In the current world, it has become easy to lose self-confidence and feel as if you aren't living up to an expectation for yourself.  I used to believe there were necessary steps one had to take in order to feel better about yourself. As if there was a bulleted list that every person who had achieved inner peace had followed previously. But the journey to self-love doesn't have instructions or a clear map. Everyone has to find their own path on the way to self-acceptance.  One problem that always stood out to me was, how does any of my self-reflection really change the outcomes of my life?  My answer was contained in principle 8, "When you nurture the inside, the outside will flourish" (Kaiser 257). The idea of focusing on myself was new to me. I would always worry about other ideas, leaving me with little time to actually prioritize my needs. Kaiser mentions that when you improve your relationship with yourself, your "outer world" will begin to improve as a result. She also mentions the idea that you attract what you put out into the world (258).

My journey to self-love will differ from everyone who has experienced their own journey. The insight provided by Kaiser has allowed me to see that in order to see a change in my "outer world", that I need to make changes internally first. Using this information I can guide myself to make choices that can make me happier in the long run. Kaiser has allowed me to ask myself powerful questions that help me reach self-love. I like to write down my answers to the thought-provoking questions that Kaiser inquires, I keep them around so I can see how I can work on reaching my goal of achieving genuine acceptance.

Do you agree with Kaiser's idea of needing to be content with your "inner self" before you can be fully content with your "outer world"?

KAISER, SHANNON. SELF-LOVE EXPERIMENT: Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and... Accepting of Yourself. PENGUIN BOOKS, 2017.